Retirement Plans

At first, the monster was very resistant to the idea of saving. It proclaimed that putting gold away was for the weak and pitiful. The creature was the terror of the earth and wasn’t about to sully itself with anything other than its magnificent horde. Naturally, I started off by complimenting the horde and the … [Read more…]


Sam thought he was going down the hill at a fairly good clip when his ski broke. Luckily, he wasn’t going as fast as he imagined, and so when he tumbled head over heels into the snow, it wasn’t catastrophic, just unpleasant. Equally lucky, he was already at the back, so there wasn’t a pile-up … [Read more…]


I’m a reasonably smart person, but I was feeling hopelessly outclassed in our conversation. He would toss in words like “ontological” and “epistemology” without any apparent effort. After a while I excused myself to go to the bathroom, just to get a break. I didn’t really have to pee, so I looked up the words … [Read more…]


When he smiled, I never really believed it, but until he died, I didn’t know why I felt that way. His smile never seemed genuine, though. It always seemed like it was pasted on over his mouth and that he was grimacing under the tyranny of the smile on his face. However, I figured it … [Read more…]


I usually don’t like spiders, let me tell you. But these spiders were excellent. They asked politely for food and when I told them that I didn’t have anything, they were like, “No problem.” There wasn’t any hassle about it. And I actually did have a chocolate bar with me. It was one of my … [Read more…]


I climb up to the top of the mountain where the fire tower is, and when I get there, I look down and there’s just a long expanse in every direction. It’s like being in the middle of a panoramic photo. Or… well… I guess it’s better than that. It’s like being in the middle … [Read more…]


Mathis had been telling jokes about me. He always did that. But on that day, for some reason, I lost my temper. Rage like a pain shot down my spine, and before I’d even thought, I’d knocked him down with the stick that I’d been carrying around. When he was on the ground, he told … [Read more…]


I went to the island just because. I know it’s kind of expected that I have a reason, and then I tell you about it, and then you can judge the rest of what I’m going to tell you by what I wanted in the first place. I know that’s how this usually works. But … [Read more…]

The Funnel

Thorpe had been reading for several hours, hoping that he’d be able to just doze off. It was two in the morning, and still absurdly hot in his tiny apartment. The book was good, and though he’d hoped that he’d start dozing off, it never happened. He just kept reading and mentally complaining to himself … [Read more…]

Good Afternoon

Jacob was alone in the playground. He sat on top of the play structure and just looked around for a while. It was a weekday afternoon, and everyone else was at school. Jacob was staying with his dad, however, and his dad saw school as being like a kid’s work. So, when Jacob had felt … [Read more…]